Lrrreconcilable Ndndifferences

Ndnd: I send you out to conquer a planet and all you bring back J.J. Abrams’ face?

Lrr: I thought you’d like it. You haven’t even tried it on.

Ndnd: I might dress up in a face if you ever took me anywhere nice!

Lrr: Oh boy, here we go. I built this castle with my own two slaves. What are you gonna do, kick me out?

[time passes]

Lrr: I am Lrr, ruler of the planet Omicron Persei 8. May I crash on your couch?

[time passes]

Farnsworth: So he just showed up unannounced, raided the liquor cabinet, sprayed urine on the ceiling and passed out?

Amy: And the walls.

How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back

Planet Express Crew: No! Don’t jump!

Bender: Do a flip!

Neutopia 

Zapp Brannigan: I got your distress call and came as quickly as I wanted to. No need to thank me.

Leela: What’s your problem, Homes? Now we’ll be stuck like this forever!

Zapp: Chill out, dude. (to Fry) Well, hello from the neck down.

Fun fact: This would have worked for practically every Jaime Lannister scene. I went through several…

Also fun fact: I delight in making Ned feel like the prettiest girl at the ball.

Spanish Fry

Porno-dealing Lizard: I videotape every customer that comes in here, so that I may blackmail them later.

Everyone else: Eww.

Porno-dealing Lizard: Hey! I’m a porno-dealing monster, what do I care what you think?

Mars University

Dean Vernon: You robots are a disgrace to this university! Whenever a fire alarm is pulled, Robot House! Whenever the campus liquor store is looted, Robot House! Whenever a human corpse is desecrated-

Bender: Now I an explain that!

(This is especially cruel for book readers, tbh)